Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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