Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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