Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
honey bunches of taint.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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