please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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