Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
