It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
