That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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