My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
