Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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