I think my vagina is haunted
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
