My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
