so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
they're like a gay fantastic four
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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