Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
