if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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