thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
