it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
