wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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