So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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