My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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