I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
