Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
