Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
