Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize