pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
