Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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