A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
