yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Is it because I queefed?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We are all done wearing pants today
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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