It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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