make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
