Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
