you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
