dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
