I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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