Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
