you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
