What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Holy shit dude........stairs
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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