she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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