If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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