no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
