I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize