And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
