i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
