like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize