I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
