DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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