What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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