do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
