Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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