youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
