Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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