$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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