Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We're too hungover to prance.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
my liver is dry heaving
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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