Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
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