I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
