____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
