oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I am mentally ready for anal.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize