ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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