paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
