would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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