my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
