Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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