WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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