I wish I could teleport
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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